Love Yourself Well
Ideas for self-compassion
Instead of sharing my usual Wednesday link roundup, I want to talk about loving ourselves well, especially in stressful seasons. I didn't want to encourage you to spend more time online this week, but instead, I'd like to offer ideas about how you can tend to yourself offline.
You might have heard that a very important election is happening this Tuesday. I've found myself feeling tense and anxious about it, and I know I'm not alone. I'm the best version of myself when I limit my time on social media, but lately, I've been scrolling Twitter, hoping to find that one poll that will reveal Tuesday's winner with 100% accuracy. I know such a thing doesn't exist, but I keep scrolling anyway.
If you're like me and feeling anxious, whether it's about the election or something else, here are some ways I like to relax and take care of my needs. I hope they inspire you to pass on the doom scrolling and carve out some peace for yourself. (For more great self-care ideas, check out Britanny's post about making a plan for after you vote and this piece from The Everygirl about creating a dopamine menu.)
Grab a coloring book or a sketchpad.
One of my favorite recent hobbies is coloring. I love listening to music, a podcast, or an audiobook while enjoying a cute coloring book. (I love the Creative Haven line.) Coloring is playful and calming, allowing you to focus on creating rather than worrying. If you prefer drawing, grab a sketchpad or notebook and draw. There’s something profoundly soothing about tapping into the childlike creativity of coloring or drawing just for fun.
Organize your messy closet.
Politics divide us, but you know what unites us? That one closet. You know which one. The one you’re embarrassed for anyone else to see. The one where the door barely shuts. Or maybe instead of a closet, you’ve got a junk drawer of shame. Maybe it’s a linen closet full of towels from the late ‘90s. Whatever it is, organize it. Throw out the junk, donate stuff you no longer need, practice your folding skills, and celebrate a job well done. Not only does this task allow you to cross something off your to-do list, it keeps your mind and your body busy. A sense of accomplishment can go a long way when feeling afraid or nervous.
Write some thank you notes.
Writing a thank you note might seem a bit old-fashioned, but I find the practice to be meaningful. We’re most likely to send a thank you note after receiving a gift, but what if you sent some just because? You could thank the coworker who makes each workday a bit brighter. You could thank the barista at your local coffee shop for making you the perfect Americano. You could thank your child’s teacher, a friend who always has your back, or a leader in your community. The list is endless. Focusing on gratitude and lifting up our neighbors makes it much harder to fester in anxiety and despair. I often think about that story Mr. Rogers told about looking for the helpers in times of crisis. Look for the helpers in your life and offer a thank you.
Make a collage or vision board.
In one of the school book clubs I help lead, we start each fall and spring session by creating vision boards. I love this activity, and the students and staff who participate seem to love it, too. We got lots of cute stuff for our boards, like washi tape, colorful paper, and markers, but you can do this project with anything. Grab some old magazines or newspapers. Find scrap paper from around the house. You can create something with a focus or theme or have fun by simply layering paper or stickers. When making something, we’re actively engaged in adding beauty to the world, a fantastic antidote to adding more stress, anger, or negativity.
Visit a library.
Libraries are some of my favorite places. I’ve worked in libraries for nearly 20 years, and I’m still excited by them. When you feel overwhelmed, head to your local library. Look for a lighthearted book or movie. Grab some beautiful magazines. Fill up your tote bag with stuff that inspires you. For me, that would be beautifully designed books about home decor, cooking, or art. You could also participate in a program. One of my former workplaces offered free yoga classes. My local library hosts book clubs and craft nights. Visiting a library allows you to connect with your community, try out some new things, and find resources or people to inspire and uplift you.
Turn on some music.
I love making Spotify playlists. I take my time, ensuring each song fades beautifully into the next. I also enjoy going through my music library and liking songs, so Spotify knows more about my taste and what to recommend to me. If it’s been a while since you’ve taken time to really explore your Spotify (or whatever music service you use), spend some time with your music library. Listen to some favorite tracks. Rediscover nostalgic albums. Make a fun playlist for yourself or a friend. Try out some new artists. Music has been such a gift in my life. It’s something I count on to keep me inspired and connected to myself.
Get in the kitchen.
When I’m stressed, sometimes the best thing to do is order some takeout and eat it on the couch. But other times, it’s nice to stay in the kitchen for a while, making something that takes a little more time and attention than I’d typically give a weeknight dinner. Whether it’s a lasagna, stew, bread, or delicious pastry, park in the kitchen. Get your hands and mind busy with some chopping or zesting. Enjoy the smells of fresh lemon, basil, or berries. Listen to the simmer of a tomato sauce or soup. Food can bring people together, and making it keeps us connected to our bodies and senses. Staying grounded in the present moment is a critical component of fighting anxious thoughts, and cooking is a great way to focus your attention on something you’ll get to enjoy.
Get cozy.
Our spaces can greatly impact our minds, so creating a calm, tranquil environment can help ease feelings of overwhelm. I love to burn candles, use soft, fuzzy blankets, enjoy some coffee, and sink into a comfortable chair or sofa. Adding some music or a favorite movie is nice, too. I have a hard time reading or watching something new when I’m anxious, but I like finding comfort in old favorites, like The Great British Baking Show or Parks and Recreation. Our versions of coziness might look different, but creating a warm, inviting space can do wonders for your mindset.
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I hope you found some of these ideas helpful. I’d love to hear what relaxes you and what activities you’d recommend to someone looking for peace of mind. What inspires you and calms your nerves? Let me know in the comments. Thanks for reading.
Love all these ideas so much.
Especially getting cozy and music!
My therapist is always reminding me to work on self compassion!🥰
Kristin Neff is amazing if you ever need more ideas.💜
I love every single one of these ideas and have been doing all of them! I'll give a special shout out to coloring, which I did in the weeks following a brain injury last winter. Think I might need to order another beautiful coloring book for the coming weeks.